if you only knew

we've hired a new lady. I guess she must be around 60?
....I usually like older gals (cause their give a damn about what other people think is pretty far gone by then)...but I'm just not liking her. My "fake" radar is going off and oy...i don't deal well with fake character at any age. I hope my first impression is wrong. They're setting her desk up right next to mine...

Speaking of being fake, I took my nails off. I just got tired of them.
My hands aren't pretty anymore...*sad face*
Mostly cause I can't stop picking at at my nails! I thought with years of not being able to, I would've broken the habit by now. I'm in my mid-30's! Stop it Brenda. ugh. It is nice to type...or do anything and not have my nails jamming into things though.

Moving on... I read  "If You Only Knew" - not my favorite of hers but I still loved it and now KHiggins is officially my favorite author. I love her stories...she has an amazing way of getting the reader character involved (even with all the super insecure things her girls do. I still love them)

I also read a Cathrine Bybee one...Married by Wednesday or somesuch...not bad. Not amazing....that's all I got. 

AND (along the girl theme).....I'm a little Ashley Monroe obsessed right now
She sounds old school/early 90's gal country. i'm a fan.

...she also said that people have gotten lazy in song writing -  just watching what little I watched of the VMA's last night makes that so true. 

And I really don't get how wearing a leotard and doing open legged squats while singing is sexy (or unique). It's just not. Where's the story?  

...LOVING this song

Wheels are gonna rust If they don’t turn enough,
And so the story goes
Yeah, I’ve been one of those worn and faded by the rain
Days are gonna fly
Draw lines around your eyes
It’ll make you bitter, it’ll make you wise
it’s coming either way

Lost and found, I’m better dancing when I don’t look down
Hard times roll up but they don’t hang around
I feel like I’m on to something good
I’m better moving on than going back
I’ll ride this train till it runs out of track
I feel like I’m on to something, something, something

I can’t tell you how or where I’m heading now
But, the winding of the road is steadying my soul
Feels like I’m coming home
Oh yeah
It’s in the wind that’s blowing, it’s in the red wine
Life’s got it’s way of showing when it’s the right time

Lost and found, I’m better dancing when I don’t look down
Hard times roll up but they don’t hang around
I feel like I’m on to something good
I’m better moving on than going back
I’ll ride this train till it runs out of track
I feel like I’m on to something, something, something

Oooh something, something
Oooh something, something

Lost and found, I’m better dancing when I don’t look down
Hard times roll up but they don’t hang around
I feel like I’m on to something good
I’m better moving on than going back
Yeah, I’ll ride this train till it runs out of track
I feel like I’m on to something, something, something

Oh I feel like I’m on
Oooh something, something
Feel like i’m onto something
Oooh something, something

why bother with marriage?

This whole Ashley Madison thing is surprising me...

I'd never even heard of the site....but the fact that so many people had registered?!!!
I'm guessing - at most - a quarter of them are women? - which even that is doubtful

I've never understood casual sex - it's not my thing
BUT if it's really ok for gals out there then I'm not one to judge. (Well I kinda am one to judge...in this case I'm not though.)

But... I mean seriously gals...as Amy Schumer says (in her ever so polished way) "I can catch a dick whenever I want". This doesn't only apply to her.
We all know, this applies to women in general.
There are plenty of men interested in sex-only relationships out there, you don't need to register to meet someone else's husband.
You certainly don't need to be married yourself...why bother...the wedding alone is freaking ridiculously expensive.

Then there's the marriage part - I mean I love Jamie, he's my best friend (and really, that means more than the love part sometimes.)
But he gets in these pissy roller coaster moods which escalate my pissy moods. Or there are situations where I can't just think about myself and what I want to do -  I have to think about him and adjust to him...it's not always fine. I really REALLY do know how easy it is to turn a relationship wrong.

The thing is... at its base, I want him to be happy and he wants me to be happy.
We talk.
More....we made vows. Call it old fashioned but that means something. And not only marriage vows. I've outright told him that he needed to swear to me that if he ever once thought about cheating that he'd talk to me before he burns that bridge.
And it would be burning a bridge...there's no going back from that for me.

Bottom line - It's very simple 
Don't get married (or even be in a committed relationship) if you're not sure you want to be there AND you're not sure he/she wants to be there with you.

Why waste time?!!!
Why don't people get that?

left the city far behind

We celebrated a friends birthday at a lakehouse near Turner Falls up in Oklahoma this weekend.

Naturally we stopped by Winstar on the way up - we can't just pass by the world's largest casino. Of course we lost our ass. Wheel of no fortune. Boo

Turner Falls was over run with people,
i say its more worth it to battle SB-35 traffic to the hill country to float the river than to do this.
Or gone to OKcity, had a steak at The Ranch and see a band play at the Wormy Dog, that's a fun time. Oh well...now we know. I still like OK.

Also read Love Come to Me by Lisa Kleypas, it was just a little scattered. But I saw that it's one of her first novels and then it makes sense. For being a first novel it's pretty good.

AND so I'm seeing all the "1st day of school" pics on my FB. So cute!! but -
I'm putting in a word for the teachers and school nurses
...good luck, stay strong. 
"You are the managers of the world's greatest resource"
Don't let any parents bring you down.

.....I'm goin through band withdrawals. It's been a while. Maybe we'll see Max at Hanks this weekend.

boys are weird! and I'm gonna break me a million hearts

So I thought I was being helpful by bringing Sports Illustrated home. I figured he'd like more information for his college football picks obsession
....he refuses to read it because they didn't put Dale Earnhardt on the cover way back when for somesuch reason.

He won't wear the any maroon because "it's *expletive* Aggie colors".

He won't wear orange because "it's *expletive* UT colors".

Under Armour for Spieth but very grudgingly Nike despite Woods.

ugh - Boys are so weird!!!!

It's Pistol Annie's time - cause I like the sass. We need more sass!!!

I'm hell on heels, say what you will

I've done made the devil a deal

He made me pretty

He made me smart

And I'm gonna break me a million hearts

I'm hell on heels baby I'm comin' for you

lazy and loved it

Totally me this weekend:

I read Christina Lauren's 1 and 2 of the Wild Seasons series. So good!
Also read historical Laura Lee Guhrke's 1st American Heiress in London - not bad. I'll read more of hers.

I did this too (but with real food) - NHS, Offsite Kitchen, Jeng Chi, Mama's Daughters. 

I swear living in a big city gets on my nerves sometimes but oh my is it so awesome to have easy access to good and a wide variety of food to choose from.

And so basically we did a whole lotta nothin' and it was grand!

Also watched Foxcatcher...talk about creepy.

causes? and effect

it really seems like there's an uptick in domestic violence incidences? It almost constant now.

I know someone who had a restraining order on her ex-husband.
He broke into her house with a shotgun and shot the friend she had in the house with her. She managed to get away but he then locked himself up in the house with her pets, set the house on fire, killing her pets and killed himself.

This is NOT ok.

NOT ok!

I'm so sick of hearing things like this happening!! I'm adding the Genesis shelter to my yearly donations...it's got to help a little right?
Or maybe rather some sort of program that helps children to not grow up with the mentality that it's ok to take their anger out on other people. I'll check into it....I want to go a little more local this year.

And not local...but speaking of donations...
as requested, I submitted my story to Death with Dignity.
I hardly remember what I submitted...I got so emotional.
They're calling me next week to get more information and to maybe post on their website to help their cause. I'm hoping any little thing will help pass laws in other states.
I won't hold my breath thinking Texas will ever pass it.
I love living here but there are so many things that frustrate me too about living here.

Anyway, ok...i need to get away from my Debbie downer. Ummm...it's Friday! We have dinner reservations for yummy Neighborhood Services tonight.
I read Sophie Barnes' Scandal in Kissing and Heir and it was ok. Nothing to make me jump to read more of her stuff but not bad.
Planning has progressed for travel to Oklahoma lakehouse party next weekend, Arkansas for a Razorback game later (maybe), Wurstfest, NOLA, Destin and Scotland/England next year.

where'd everybody go?

I wish someone would've told me how easy it is to lose friends as you get older.

Work and spouse and family pull you away, next thing you know it's been almost a year since you've heard from someone.

I think it's pretty sad to let loose that aspect of your life.
It's even more sad that it's not really intentional on both sides.

I think Jamie and I work a little better being able to get away every once in a while to talk with a non-family member/co-worker.

Maybe it's time to plan another girls trip!!!....ooo maybe somewhere cold!!!

My car played me No Justice
...miss this band. They were a fun time.
:

my Hawaiian islands travel experience

Back from Hawai'i week long NCL cruise ship island hopper.
Overall, honestly? Some parts were gorgeous...but would I go over BCS or some parts of the Carribbean I've visited...no. The flight alone was pretty brutal.

I come away with the feel that (what I was able to see of) Hawai'i is very touristy. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with us being on a ship
...but even a lot of the parts reached an hour by car away colored the picture.

About the ship: What I didn't like: 
I didn't care for being on a cruise ship. My first experience, and it was as I thought:

• too many people, 
• I felt like we were cattle 
• food was awful and dodging people at the buffet was a beating, 
• hardly any time to see things on land   
• I got (and maybe still am?) a little dizzy on land
• the "hurry up and wait" about killed me....

About the ship: What I did like: 
we would never have been able to see all the islands in this short of time otherwise.
(Besides the sea day diversion from hurricane guillermo)...we had no time to be bored...it was go go go.
The rocking of the ship made for a surprisingly good night's sleep, and we upgraded to a balcony room so plenty of storage room and sitting out on the balcony was nice. Having breakfast out on the outdoor back deck overlooking the ocean was also nice. I guess not having to unpack was good too.

About Hawai'i - What I didn't like: 
again I caveat ****though we rented a car each time and tried to get as far away from the ship as possible, this one week island hopping in no way allowed us to get a good feel for anything so I am by no means saying I'm an expert at Hawaiian island travel.****
Oahu - Honolulu/Waikiki Beach - big city...traffic. Definitely Uber over taxi. Taxi was $10+ more! I'm not sure why Waikiki beach is such a draw? From what we saw...the sand was rough and very sticky. You had to have watershoes with all the rocks going into the ocean, then the waves were very strong. Plus people...evvvvverrryyywheerrre.
Oahu Pearl Harbor/USS Arizona Memorial - go early. get a reservation for the boat asap (or online if you can). Cannot take any bags in. They charge $3 per to store your bags
Maui - from where we docked (near the airport) it takes a while to get anywhere. Rentals are across the street in Wailea discouraged my first paddle boarding attempt. the (drive up to the) summit was underwhelming. Go early cause clouds block any kind of view later. Mama's Fish House was really good food but SUPER expensive.
Kauai - if you don't have your own stuff it's not easy to find rental gear
Big Island Hilo - from glancing as we zoomed by..there's nothing in Hilo? Rainbow Falls, was ok, no rainbows but it is a water fall (as it rained that day).
We saw no molton lava at the volcanoes. I think I read it's an 11 mile hike to see it? No way were we going to be able to do that with Jamie's parents. And quite frankly, besides seeing the initial devestation within 10 minutes of the drive...the lava tubes were kinda "eh" and think it was a bit of a waste of time?
The (amazing) Kapoho tide pools near Pahoa are on lock down from the community surrounding it. It's a half mile walk from parking (if you're dogged enough to find the public parking)
Big Island Kona side - waiting to tender is no fun. tourist town anywhere. Definitely much better south away from the dock.

About Hawai'i - What I did like: 
Oahu Waikiki - there's a food truck park off Waikiki beach, one called 5 Star shrimp. OMG amazing. Also Nico's on Pier38. Wonderful food. Will crave Opah when in the mood for fish.
Oahu Pearl Harbor - it is worth seeing this piece of history. This reinforces how important it is to not forget. One of the 8 last survivors was there.
Maui -  bus system (had to ask where the bus was going, no obvious tell in Queen's center) but easy ride and cheap $4 day pass. Leoda's pie shop on the way to Lahaina is worth the stop. Pie...yum!!! Old Lahaina Luau was interesting (worth the $?...umm? I'd rather have gone to a not so touristy one...just couldn't find it.)
Kauai - my favorite Hawaiian island. Drove to Haena Beach (pic below)...if we had rental options and time we would have stayed. Regardless...worth the drive up. Lunch at Olympic cafe in Kapa'a was great. Dinner at Hukilau Lanai was good. Our helicopter tour was cancelled (due to the hurricane's wind shears)...i think it definitely would've been worth the money though. Since we had diverted, we had to cancel the sugar plantation canal tube float tour also..boo
Big Island Hilo - lunch at Kaleo's was wonderful. Kapoho tide pools are amazing. Wish we could've stayed (beware... the community is very stingy with it. Follow rules) GPS led us a bit wrong but worth the 1/2 mile walk from public parking lot (if you can find it). No facilities fyi.
Big Island Kona - breakfast at Big Island Grill was yum!! Try the Loco Moco with Spam.
Drove down to Kona Boys to rent snorkel gear. They steered us to Ho'okena Beach. Wonderful. Bathrooms/Chair rentals/snacks/water avail. Careful with the black/volcanic sand though..it gets super hot. Seeing dolphins and turtles is not unheard of. Huli side street BBQ (especially the chicken) across from Kona Boys was yummy.

Really, I think the best way to see Hawaii's realness is if you're a hiker/surfer and have time to find the hidden spots away from the tourists.
For me personally...I don't see us going back...unless on the way to Australia maybe? Stay in Kauai.

our view of Haena Beach, Kauai

I read more Grace Burrowes books...I just finished Beckman, i think 4th? I also read the first (YA) Darkest Minds book. I liked it enough to read the next.