04/28/2020

Almost 700 Texans dead in 9(ish) weeks, (they say it was in the U.S since late Jan).
Over a million cases in the U.S. alone now.
Still so much we don't know. Texas is almost last in testing. Stats are likely highly false.
And the governor issued a phase one "open" on Friday.

Seriously, I thought they'd come around if people (Texans especially) were dying...600+ now, with no sign that it's turning down... and "let's open up! All kindsa crazies are coming out of the woodwork...

I saw a tweet that said
"The fact that #LockdownEnd is trending shows we have an entire generation who were raised without ever hearing the word "No".
No, you can't go to the pub. No, you can't go to the beach. No, you can hang out with your mates. Find some discipline and start giving a shit.

But really - it's not just a certain generation, it's our society. It's decaying. It's decayed.

(so I remember) Here's my day today:

It rained last night, BB doesn't like the thunder so she came in waking us up.

Woke up, Jamie has taken to jogging now, so I waited for him to get out of the shower. 

Watched news in bed. 

They're talking about the balance of privacy/being tracked and societal health. 

Brought to mind 1984. But really I see better now how we can give up privacy for self-preservation...or is it really?

Pushed Jamie out of the bedroom cause was rushing me. Too much energy. 

Made my coffee that he makes me, not sure why that's a thrill.

 I specifically pace it to where I only drink on Tuesday and Thursday's just so I can enjoy it more. I wonder what that says about me?

Log into skype and outlook - kinda work, but not really. There's not really anything to do. I'm not sure how I still have a job really. 

On a conference call the Publisher threatened to "wipe clean" the sales staff. Pretty sure he made a girl cry too. 

Lunch, i made ramen noodles. Jamie's go to is a turkey sandwich. We listen to the Unplugged History podcast. 

He went to the store . The lines are less, so it's not taking him as long anymore. 

I wipe them down now with disinfectant when he gets in. 

We've gotten pretty good at not wasting food, it's all about the freezer rotation and creative ideas on what else to do with potatoes. I thank god that jamie likes to cook. He's locked in on the sour dough bread right now...

We pick up food maybe 4 times a week now though?

I surf fb through the day, the suburban women comments (and commenting myself),  my musicians are constantly streaming, so i catch up on a song or two and we pitch in periodically.  Just think, all those bands and singers and servers and never ending...I think it was 23 million out of jobs now? Just...wow.

So I pitch in to World Central Kitchen cause Jose Andres. And Community Foundation cause Clay Jenkins...people that are doing things to help. 

I eat, I have shelter. I'm safe. Family's still safe. No big debts. We have money saved up. 

So many don't. 

With always, in the back of your mind thinking, how is this going to end? 

It's almost 4 now, I'm about to review docs for the Dems chairs online meeting. That's probably going to be a mess...it already has been. I've kinda separated myself from it for these weeks. Yes, I will crawl to vote if I have to...otherwise "meh" on that drama. And that'll take up the rest of the night.

We're watching 30 Rock, Schitt's Creek, After Life. I'm side watching Vice News, Trevor Noah, a KPop series an author reco'd and Songland. Jamie , Ozark, Better Call Saul and his reality trash shows. We play games too some days. Started playing "Nines". Lisa taught it to me on a zoom party the other day Will do another on Thursday. . She slept til noon on Saturday! She's used to being alone but like Norma...this all has to take a toll on another level when you're just alone. 

He pulled out some frozen chicken for dinner. 

Saw we're fixing to get some really bad maybe tornado weather tonight after that so...

4/8/2020

Looked it up, today is my 24th day of self-quarantine. Since March 15th.

We cut our trip to Vermont short, Boston was getting hit pretty hard and even going was a little nerve-wrecking. Half our plane was empty, which hadn't happened since I can't remember.

We're sharing an office, my hours have been cut and 20% less pay, but I still have a job and insurance..so that's good. I'm really not sure how long that can hold out.

Needless to say - I get that this is unprecedented, but it was not a total surprise. I was starting to prepare when I heard about it in January.
I loathe how my Republican representatives have handled basically everything. The "hands off to keep making money" approach is not conducive to a pandemic. People are dying and the snarky shit comments from them are vile.

I didn't think I could be further resolved to get them out - now someone (not them) needs to get us organized.

Calgary Banff

We just got back from Calgary/Banff - it's strange going back to a city you grew up in as a child. Everything seems so much bigger in a child's memory.
Ate/drank at Briggs then we went to the hockey game - in the same Saddledome that was there 25+ years ago. I liked the feel. And first time on the glass...i liked it, and didn't. Couldn't see anything going on, on the other side of the rink.

Off to Banff the next day - we paid for the shuttle to pick us up - i think if we were ever to do it again we'd either rent a car, or just uber to the airport and take that bus direct. No uber but Taxi's were readily available (and reasonable).
We loved the Juniper hotel - a little bit outside of city center was perfect - i think Banff town itself is just on that verge of being a little too touristy.

First day we got dressed and just went to the Fairmont (the castle) yes touristy but gorgeous views - their waldhaus pub was a gem and the dinner at Vermillion was wonderful. Sit at the bar for the view. Went up the 8th floor - rumors that the Shining was inspired by that ghost story. Didn't see a ghost bride. 

2nd day - Breakfast at Juniper yum (and lovely) Greg A. from tours by locals was great - picked us up at 8:30...Lake Louise is super tourist spot, maybe because it was iced over there was nothing that really stood out...several other spots in/around Banff felt better. Minnewanka...ate lunch at the art centre, great view otherwise meh.
Dinner at Bison was pretty good. And we decided to rent a car instead of taking the 6:45 shuttle back. Best decision we made AND the shuttle graciously refunded us back 100%.
Back to Calgary - Viv and Mark picked us up - curling, sitting at the bar upstairs, dinner downtown - we tried to go to a speakeasy Betty Lou's but it was a no go.
We had a great time - will we go back? Probably not... but so glad we went.

Q1 '19 pc chair mexico city

wanted to keep up with this at least once a month to refer back to - i'll try for once a quarter.

Recap:
I’m now my precinct’s precinct chair- it feels very...American…i'm okay with less tangents and drama though… holy moly talkers, and drama…

Took Jamie to see the Book of Mormon - not bad. Can't say there wasn't a lot of truths
 I've figured out I'm not a musical gal (and Jamie definitely isn't a musical guy). I feel like I should've liked it more, I'm just not much of a "shock value" type gal.

I was passed out dead asleep on a Tuesday a few weeks ago and Jamie walks in to ask if I want to go to Mexico City on Friday - i said sure! Easy/cheap flight. Once you get over the traffic and that there are millions of people in a Very large city to take it for what it is -we really enjoyed it. Me, surprisingly...I never had any interest. Food tour was a MILLION times worth it.  Tacos and Pulque and crickets. There's a LOT of history too (some of it mine)...but we practically ran through the Aztec Templo Mayor for want of time...so glad we took our uber drivers suggestion to do this. Definitely rideshare. We stayed in Polanco, next time we'll try a little closer to the city...Roma, Condesa? 

I've seen lots of really good old bands, read lots of really good books -  really want to've kept up on my quick reviews so I can remember - but with the library and elections stuff I'm totally distracted.

Not gonna lie, I love the self stuff...but it's a solid foundation feeling - ? -  (for lack finding a better way to describe it)  getting involved in things and meeting people i NEVER would've out of my bubble.

We met with a financial planner - i think thats a good plan - while at the same time mind boggled that people do that. Privileged indeed. It certainly helped Jamie, he's always stressed out about retirement, I can't get on his page regarding retirement.... - but he's never had to wonder if he'll have enough money to eat/pay bills either...so...i'm not sure i'll ever get on his page when it comes to this.

We leave for Calgary/Banff next week - it's been over 25 years for me...should I call it a home town if i only lived there my elementary years? i dunno...

about dem Dems...

And so I lost every race I personally “upper level” invested in. (Well my HD is still holding out, we’ll see there. Not holding my breath.) 
Disappointed? Yes. Surprised? no…
And really I’m glad I took yesterday off for a couple hours of reflection (and patching of reserves).

I was gonna write this my “new girl wade into politics adventure” to the Texas Dems site, Democrat Party, Texas Latino and Texas Women’s orgs I’m a part of -  but for now it looks like everyone is in my same boat -  throwing ideas about, and raging etc. And it’s gonna go into a big black hole ….so I’m going back to what I know, just sit back and wait it out ...BUT still...why not throw it out here just so I can “all-in-one” vent.

Dear Texas Dems, gonna come right out and say it – would dearly love less of a shitstorm for 2020…
Since the presidential election I took notes on my “new girl here” journey. I sat on the sideline for months as an observer.
Nobody’s asked my opinion and I realize y’all’ve “been here for years” and “Dem suppression/apathy” and “no funding” etc…but I’d be remiss not to at least attempt to try to reach out to let y’all know where I feel where things went wrong from “the new girl perspective”.

I write this as a previous “fringe” girl who’s always voted the spectrum …until the last presidential election.
I “spun” for months, went to the march, found a huddle and got INVOLVED.
I’ve met AMAZING wonderful ORGANIZED people.
I still consider myself a fringe girl (as I will never forevermore just “follow blindly” - I want to know exactly who is speaking on my behalf and raise hell if they don’t do what they promise)
So yes even now, as a less “fringe” Dem – there were GLARING concerns.

Here are a few:
1) Precinct chairs -  I didn’t even know what those were! These are VITAL, especially since most people have no interest in straying far from their homes. Turns out I don’t have one (which was a process in itself to even find) and after researching the role for myself I lost interest.
Why? I loathe the “mandatory” 40 minute drive to McKinney.  Yep that was my dealbreaker.
Also I don’t feel I deserve the position -  I didn’t like block walking and I’m not a phone person. Which was constantly pushed.
when I talked to somebody at the collin dem office about my “different” ideas to engage as a “de facto” contact… I was told “don’t try to re-create the wheel”, do the volunteer 101 training (which was beyond boring). I felt compelled to disengage for not being able to find my “spot”. I took the poll greeter/watcher training last week. Again – BEYOND boring…and well in their defense… Didn’t help that I was hungover (yay Max Stalling) but  There has got to be a better way to include/guide anyone that’s interested in becoming involved! This is public relations 101! (yes this is my PR degree chiming in)
2) The assumptions: it’s super frustrating how it’s just assumed that everyone knows the elections process. I.E. - what the primary is and why it’s important. That you have to register and vote in your county. The new/maybe actives can’t get on board about something they know nothing about. So instead of asking questions they disengage. My advice (as a friend of the library volunteer) is: partner with the library system (become “friends of the library” volunteer), it already is an achor for each community. Start with a few and thread civic engagment/information in however community events they choose to lead.  THIS IS A SLEEPING GIANT OF A NETWORK OPPORTUNITY.
3) It needs to be clearly outlined why donations are important. I want to know what my money is used for. And I want to know what happens to all of it. This ESPECIALLY for POC!!!
4) I want an opt out option for receiving emails/texts when I donate $  -  I was inundated, bad user experience and this from someone firmly on their side!
5) Seniors – they are an underutilized beasts! Retirees have the time…I gave 200 of my postcards to one “self-professed disgusted Republican” I’d met and she finished them in TWO days!!! If one-on-one efforts are made so relationships are built and they asked to help as they can….they’d be an INSANE benefit!
6) Not a fan of the private groups that have admin’s monitoring every post – if it’s over 3k then maybe, otherwise it comes across elitest. Let people vent!
7) If a person volunteers they should know exactly where there candidate is at all times and there should be clear concise marching orders – I begged for calendars so I can “pop in” and help social media promote them. Tell me when to switch my frame on my profile. Tell me when/and what to post on Nextdoor! Tell us what to do!
8) Along those lines  - Nextdoor – there’s got to be a guideline for a more unified approach here – so many good intention-ed people would post things that were NOT helpful…
9) Bi-lingual flyers that people can print out on their own. But make sure all pertinent information is on there dates etc - That HELPED!!!


Postcards
- to save time I did my own “all-in-one”,  and donated postage. Couldn’t find a contacts to give me addresses, had to have my HD candidate reach out to a nearby precinct chair for addresses.
- naturally I wanted to stick by my precinct but didn’t want to duplicate efforts if it’s already been targeted?
- to that end, my area doesn’t feel at all targeted -  I was happy to lead the charge but who would I tell? How do you know all I’ve done?
- streamline ideas:
o addresses need to be easier accessed to volunteers (especially new ones that don’t have a clue who to reach out to).
o Unified targeting database so if/when people want to volunteer duplication isn’t wasted and overall visual of what’s happening.

More insightful things I've learned -
you have to keep hunt/pecking...don't expect a response, so when you get it, it's super nice.
For those that have "been here" hear them out, take the gold points and remember a lot of them are tired...

the duke buys a bride - sophie jordan - she was being sold at auction, and so it goes.
love and other words - christina lauren - they really tortured them this one.
dr. strange beard - penny reid - never thought about what it'd be like to remember everything. I have such a terrible memory...worse than average. I think it's definitely worse the former.

annnd others....and we continue.

Things are picking up. Feel like a bee.
I've been re-reading a lot. Zapata, MacLean...my therapy/escape go-tos.
I read Fahrenheit 451...after seeing the movie...curious why the movie didn't follow the book closer? It was like 30%? And the part where there was no "glowing eyes"...it was just waiting and hope...chills.

Late flight from El Paso had 2 chaperones escorting about 9 immigrant kids. From a baby girl to all the rest boys ranging to about 12. They did not act like kids. Their eyes were not children eyes. It was really upsetting. So I'm volunteering to go see about helping kids/families coming into downtown on Sunday...pretty sure it's going to be hard. But it's all perspective right...at least I'm not a six year old kid with nothing/no one.

Best song I've hear in a while - Will Hoge, Gilded Walls
https://soundcloud.com/thirtytigers/01-gilded-walls

sarah maclean's wicked and wallflower - so good - and the more it settles and I like it.
emma chase's - getting schooled - childhood to adult....i liked this one too!

got wicked pissed off at jamie the other day (last week?) I haven't been so mad at him in ages...and he actually had no idea why/how he'd pissed me off.
Basically we had plans, he made additional plans to play golf without telling me...and there I am at 6:30 all dressed up for a date night that we'd planned still waiting when he texts me "3 more holes to play". It blows my mind how even after all this time...
I was so pissed my voice was shaking...but we talked. I'm over it. still *smh*

Anyway - so I'm totally getting "involved" now - postcards and emails and training...and so I'm going to say this now (for in the future when I'm looking back). It's pretty hard to say you're "fringe" when you're handwriting postcards and nextdoor.comming  -- but I hope I don't lose sight of why I'm doing this. I'm holding steady at still being able to put myself in the shoes of "the other side" - even though it's certainly getting harder when it's as though many of them don't have any interest in reciprocating. Still....I think a big reason on how we got here is we've just have blinders on to our own thoughts.

ack! shit! I've been constantly distracted
books - I read Ward's The Thief - could totally see why that gal would skip chapters and go back to read one story line through.
Voyeur and the Varlet - she describes what a varlet is. I liked it....but Penny Reid is pretty much spot-on my style
Too Wilde to Wed - eloisa james - yeah i liked this! misunderstandings/miscommunications and some shenanigans, no evil person/antagonist plot. a winner

Politics - yep immigration flare up that's really been building for years.
The question of "but were you protesting in 2014/2015?" repeated.
So I repeated:
nope…besides voting and the occasional email to representatives, I wasn’t protesting anything in 2014/2015….I was blithely living in my bubble of privilege. And not gonna lie…I miss my bubble.

I have always had an interest in immigration though – I was an immigrant myself when we lived in Canada for 5 years. 
Grew up in El Paso otherwise and worked for city hall in El Paso as an intern. My step-father was an immigration/border patrol agent. Immigration law is complex, Even he had a hard time explaining. There were/are a lot of gray areas.
Holistically (as I understood it) intact families were rarely separated, there are lots of cases where children arrived by themselves. In that case it gets even more complicated.

Notice I say “as I understood it” cause I’m fully aware my basic curiosity doesn’t make me a specialist or privy to what “really” was going on.

Bottom line – I’m tired of the apathy… plus in the cases of asylum attempts - I can’t possibly fault someone trying to save themselves/their children (especially when the U.S. had a hand in the chaos that’s happening in their countries)…Just can’t. So heckfire yeah I’m protesting now. 

Charley Crockett tomorrow for some music therapy.
My Sheldonita has been in a Jack Ingram mood though...so I'll go with it:
Looking at maybe Mexico city for Thanksgiving? (why not...)...

Alaska (before I forget)...or really I should say the Carnival cruise to the tip of Alaska...

before boarding in Seattle, we took the train in to DT from the airport, no-brainer for $3pp one way. The rideshare to Hattie's Hat in Ballard was spot on. Sierra was a gem bartender.
Then we boarded the ship and we were off (for 7 days on a ship w/ 3k people on board)....I got dizzy the first night. Apparently a lot of people were sea sick. Rough seas. The food was absolute yuck....except Guy Fieri's hamburger stop (?). Jamie was at the bar a lot. We paid extra to eat decent food at the "fancy" restaurant for dinner most nights.  I deserve a medal in bearing Jamie's and my boredom and pissy attitude. Didn't see any stars, the sun didn't set till after 11pm. Scenery was great after day 2. High's in the 50's. Clean cool air. Saw lotsa whale plumes, LOTSA bald eagles. There oddly wasn't a lot of fish choices besides Halibut and some salmon? Otherwise...only other highlight on the ship was the"lecture" on the glaciers and icebergs etc....can't deny the last few years have been significantly different in glacier melting.

Fjord day - Apparently, the Tracy Arm fjord had too many icebergs to safely enter so we turned up the Endicott fjord. Lovely. A highlight.

Skagway Day - just a straight up tourist town. We got a helicopter to take us to the Meade glacier 20 minutes out. Pretty neat. Nothing but a certain kind of moss can live on it. We drank glacier water.
There's a 15 minute hike left of the airport. What must've been a 5ft wide bald eagle flew right over Jamie's head. He got a good picture of it where it landed in the tree. Lunch at Brew Company (BrewCo), the fish/chips were delicious. There's the Kone company fudge shop that was the most delicious fudge I've ever had. Went to Olivia's for some soup, sat at the bar, Jamie ate some salmon spread at FishCo. And like cattle, had to board the boat.

Juneau Day - just the walk to get out of town was killer, straight up. We walk/hiked to Ebner Falls on the Perseverance Trail. (6ish miles rt?). Nice. Back in town, took an uber to Douglas cafe (good biscuits/gravy) then drinks at Island bar overlooking the inlet. Bus back, $2pp easy. Had a "Alaskan right of passage" Duck Fart shot at Red Dog Saloon. There was an annual tribal gatherings going on in DT Juneau...if I would've known I think i might've planned around that.
And like cattle, had to board the boat.

Ketchikan Day - breakfast at New York cafe (good), walked the historical red light district. Found a hole-in-the wall bar...Eagle (something)...old school. Ate at Alaskan Fish company for lunch...meh.
And like cattle, had to board the boat.

Victoria BC night - only got to really see the place we ate dinner (cause like cattle we had to board the boat).  Little Jumbo restaurant had a good feel and - really good food/drink. I think I'd really like to go back and visit the non-cruise ship parts one day.

Will we ever go on a cruise again - no.

But we liked what little we saw of Alaska  to think we'd like to go back. (and whew...locals are TALKERS)
I think I'm on book 9 of Christi Caldwell's Heart series? I got on a Penny Reid re-read kick too.

ack vent

overheard my co-workers talking "what about how white lives matter"...and it's like that comedian guy said ""Some of my favorite movies are by straight white dudes about straight white dudes," he said. "Now, straight white dudes can watch movies starring me and you relate to that. It's not that hard. I've done it my whole life."

and even though I'm close with my co-workers it's not something you can make someone understand...how to try to see things from a different perspective.
Which is why it's really important (if they can understand) to have a white person call out shit to their own bubble of white persons. Like Jamie telling his people (that look/act/think like him) about not saying the "N" word anymore goes sooo much further than me saying it to them, even though I'm not even Black.
That's another unique thing about being an Latino, ...we're in a unique position to straddle both worlds...it's the spectrum of light skinned/eyed latinos to afro-latinos. It's not something to be ashamed of. There's no better...it's just different. It's embracing...until it's feared/mocked/denied. ugh

the "relation" said that what Roseanne tweeted was "brilliant" over dinner.
I said, "It's "brilliant" to insult someone? What I  think was brilliant is to use humor as her platform to try to show how people aren't so different/bring people together...."...alas it's like hitting a brick wall. 

Puerto Rico...i knew it was being covered up...you could see it if you even had the faintest interest. ....just not that bad. How does this happen? You can't just blame it on trump....there are many people in the position to see the truth of what's going on....
i'm so fed up, embarrassed,  exhausted

I've been sticking my head in a Christi Caldwell marathon "heart of" book series, apparently i've just hopped around with her. So that's a fun find to connect them
Worried there might be something wrong with my retinad eye. Dr appt in an hour.

We leave for Alaska tomorrow - the outlaw inlaws 50th. If nothing else thank you for the blessed blessed cooler/cleaner air.

the not wild west

flew into San Jose, CA Thursday morning and took the Monterey shuttle down - nice/easy.

Jamie met me later. It's ridiculous expensive to stay in Carmel (maybe cause it was memorial weekend?) still....it is a nice town and really good food.  Leans heavy on wine not cocktails. Best part...high of 62.

Day 1 - 17 mile drive/Pebble Beach/Spanish Bay - Mary's cafe for breakfast, yes good. The rest...pretty ...just so tamed/touristy with the golf courses. We sat at pebble beach over looking the golf course for lunch, then Spanish Bay for 4 hours waiting for the bag piper. The 3 hours before everyone started showing up was the best part (even with the beyond ridiculous priced cocktails).  It was beautiful out, apparently the sun for that long was unusual. I'm golf coursed out. And everyone I saw were terrible golfers (dressed/outfitted to the nines of course). Loads of tourists...walking the greens even. Grasings for dinner. Didn't do much for me. Jamie loved the fish.

Day 2 - drive down to Big Sur - stopped by Point Lobos first, worth $10?...eh i guess? We saw a few otters. Not 20 minutes later they shut down parking for being so full. Lookout spots on the way down..i lost interest. Jamie got good bridge shots. I liked the bridge before the bixby bridge from far away.  Lunch at Nepenthe, beautiful spot...don't get the burger. The Shrimp was delicious. Do we need to go back...i don't think so...but don't regret going.
Came back and walked down to the beach to see the Frank Lloyd Wright house...walked along the beach sidewalk...and then about died going up the hill back to the hotel room. Seriously...out....of....shape. My kidney's hurt. Went to dinner at Montrio Bistro...a best meal we've ever had.

Day 3 - fruit stands on the way to San Jose (high five) /Henry Cowell Redwoods/airport. I had on the way to stop by Santa Cruz but it just reminded me of Gatlinburg or Niagara...."tourist world" we didn't even park. No "Lost Boys" nostalgia there. Even the redwoods were tamed....though we only had 45 minutes "loop" so maybe it our fault that we didn't make time to go deeper.

Overall...a lovely place "the Central Coast"...can't help but wish to have seen what it looked like before it was tamed.

Speaking of - I'm on book 3 of Court of Thorn and Roses (Sarah J. Maas)...I thought it was a YA but the sexy times say otherwise. There a few irksome things but overall a good story...we'll see how it ends...

second sight

The Duke Who Knew Too Much - Grace Callaway - not gonna lie, skipped through the "dangerous/murderer" plot. Otherwise I liked the characters...chemistry was good.

Second Sight - Amanda Quick - paranormal-ish, I finished it, it was okay...

Blood Fury - JRWard - i forget how she intertwines stories. I was talking to a book club girl that literally skips chapters to read one story line through...and then starts again with the other story line. I like Novo's better...I still feel it was missing backstory for both. It's like 75%. 

Leave for California tomorrow - San Jose (Silicon Valley) and Carmel (where there's apparently a "very important" golf course) - I tried to see if I could sit in the Facebook lobby to people watch for a while

but it was confirmed that I'd need an approved access badge. Boo.

Tried blockwalking. - not a fan, but at least now I can say I tried it.
In an hour we hit 24 houses and it was freaking hot, the majority of the houses had "no soliciting", since we didn't want to piss people off we moved on. Of the 5 people that actually answered their door we got: three confirmed republicans, one confirmed Republican that's "not happy and closer to voting dem than you might think" and another independent that needs to "think about it".

I've been on a Kacey Musgraves roll the last couple weeks

racing

it's been almost two weeks.
already forgotten a lot of what's happened so...highlights.

Jamie's part owner of a race horse now *eye-roll* - we're gonna check it  out tomorrow.

Derby party was work/tiring but mostly good and couldn't ask for better weather! my Texas district house and senate candidates showed...i'd invited them obvious with no expectations... so that was neat. Rest of the day was fun until "one" guy drank too much and came real close to starting a fight (I swear people on the day of their first born should just sign something saying "from this day on  especially, you are aware you won't be able to handle drinking alcohol like you used to could. Don't try. " 

Heading to Houston for Mother's Day this weekend.
Whole lotta stuff happening next weekend - block walk (oy), bar, crawfish, band
Trip to CA-Monterey Bay is planned for Memorial weekend.

Books
High Voltage (Fever) Karen Marie Moning - glad i waited for the library here. I finished it but I think she went wrong with Dani and I especially feel Ryodan deserved better. 
Hello Stranger: The Ravenels, Book 4 Lisa Kleypas - the gal doctors story, he was intense. Not my favorite of hers but not bad.

Bet Me (Lucky in Love Book 2) Lila Monroe - has a bit of  that "contemporary" immaturity problem..but I finished it. 

The Paper Bag Princess (Classic Munsch) by Robert Munsch - this was a reco from the fb book club thread. i was curious how children's books read now. Not what i expected. Pretty funny. Nostagic for Roald Dahl. 

things no one tells you about getting older #1687

things no one tells you about getting older #1687 - having a cup of milk and a banana two days in a row for breakfast makes you gain four pounds in two days. Holy moly...i'm not kidding. This is bonkers....

Moving on - I posted last week on two of the dem pages I'm in,
Noting the seeming lack of uniformity/direction from the Dem party and questioning what the Dem leadership are actually doing while the "grassroots" move. -
couldn't help myself!

I knew I was going in with the high chance I was about nettle some people with my forthrightness but I'm getting frustrated and apparently (based on feedback) I wasn't alone.

Surprisingly only a couple were notably irked. After dm'ing a few of the people who posted responses, I got really great feedback actually!
One of which is to tie in to the precinct chair - as they're a direct connection to the Dem party.
I looked into my precinct chair - unsurprisingly I don't have one - mine's one of the farthest away from the county court. It's a 40 minute drive and you have to attend meetings. Still it's important to note.

The other dem page that I posted to - i got a dm this morning saying that the admins weren't going to approve it because it didn't meet their guidelines and they were concerned about the controversy.
I get it, I do...it's just I really think that these things need to be addressed/discussed - this might be one of the many reasons we (they) got here in the first place...right?...or maybe not...what do I know.

We went to the horse races on RR game over the weekend for La's birthday. She sent me an email Friday talking about crazy Left-wing media bias and guns don't kill people and checking on spoons cause they apparently make you fat as a comparison....I wrote back saying "can you describe the spoon thing? Cause all I thought after reading it was “if a person wants to eat themselves to death with a spoon then that’s a personal choice they made about their own life…”. How does that compare with a gun that can be used irresponsibly to kill someone?"

Also watched Amy Schumer's new movie - good message, just kinda missed the mark somewhere and only a couple laughs. Still a fan.

 I didn't try reading anything new this time - wasn't actually home a lot. Just re-reading scenes from favorite books. Trehan Daciano, Kulti. Can't go wrong there.

my social butterfly limit was reached over the weekend.
Dinner with friends Friday and Saturday.
Book club Saturday/met one of my favorite authors - and she was as lovely as I'd hope she'd be. I asked if she intentionally went in writing a book to torture her people like how she does...and she basically said "yes and you're welcome".... heh

"Good Luck with That" was pretty heavy (no pun intended)...if there was one thing that got on my nerves it's that each of them pointed out too many times that the" biggest one was the biggest one". And after a while just wish she'd move on from each mentioning weight/body image...
but I guess that was the point...that it takes over lives as they let it - it took a couple days for me to read. I'm sure she's gonna get major backlash...but I think she knows it. She definitely went there.

Then Dem gal group Sunday for fundraising committee - I think I irritated one when I said a luncheon sounded boring to me. I probably should've not been so blunt....i can't help myself sometimes. Seriously though....same old boring status quo...this is the problem...can we have a Latin or Bluegrass night or something fun to really interest a lot of people (not just a certain kind)? on that thought

once upon a time, back in college days, a gal and her friend decided to take a road trip to Atlanta.
Pensacola (on the way) had a great beach AND a military base. *score for the gals!*
So naturally,the picture below is what we pictured in our mind - a line-up (just for us) on the way to the beach!
And well.... we did see very attractive men - it just turned out that the men were attracted to each other - we'd some how parked ourselves on the gay beach. Oh well...it was fun!

Fast forward 15ish years - I hear that the National Guard is being rounded up (for no logical reason) to basically spend a whole lot of our tax $ to watch our border patrol agents do their jobs.

I mean several coastal towns are still struggling after Harvey right?
Or...umm how about Puerto Rico?

BUT! well...a gal can (once again) picture the below to make the situation seem just a little better - right? We're heading back down to El Paso in July...I don't know what a National Guard uniform looks like, but maybe they'll be lined up like this just for us!!


Had dinner friday with my dad and aunt - I'm worried for her, I'm not sure how any single person really makes it as a real estate agent.

Went to the book club last night to get the new Kristan Higgins book before meeting her on Saturday. The book is apparently about weight issues and it was a touchy subject for those that had already read it. One DNF even. wow. Still... fun group, I'll likely go again. Plus one of the gals used the word "buttress" in description and *lightbulb* who but reader people use good words any more?! I dig it.

Finished: Christi  Caldwell - The Hellion - I liked the not typical gal but still it jumped from interest to love super quick...
Lisa Kleypas - Because you're mine - capital theater #2...i'd apparently bought this and forgot. I found it at 0% in my library. Sheltered girl runs away to escape arranged marriage.

this "getting involved" stuff is ramping up. Plus planning for derby party. I also joined a fb travel group so i'm looking at that (and getting serious wanderlust).
And not gonna lie...had way too much to drink on Friday watching the Rebirth (fun as always)...we spent Saturday/Sunday recovering.. netflix.
I watched documentaries about  Maya Angelou,  The Art of Loving, 60's/70's, what women/people did to change things and Like Water for Chocolate
...about how things change but it comes back around it's almost exactly what's happening today but masked differently...
 It caused me to take a dark turn to thinking... 
The tables will turn .. and so what? ....it's cyclical and each turn causes insidiousness...and we go further down the rabbit hole ...

finished
It Happened One Midnight: Pennyroyal Green Series -  Julie Anne Long - re-read...i only remembered a small glimpse...but it reminded me why i read the whole series...you fall in. 
Taming Elijah (The Kincaids Book 1) Stacy Reid - the first of hers i've not cared for...but I think it's because it's a Western...I must've had bad past life experiences cause I can't hardly stand Westerns.
Endurance - Amy Daws - the next brother soccer player player. I liked her too though...
Keeper - Amy Daws - childhood friend to love good too. 
Sex Symbol: A Standalone Romance (Hollywood Heat) Laurelin Paige - i thought it was pretty well written...i'll not remember them as a couple but as the story. 

And this guy named Jesus Valles posted the below on facebook. 
I don't know him but it reached my feed somehow and I'm hoping millions of people read it cause he's able to condense here some of my fleeting thoughts:
"Austin is an exhausting place where racism smiles at you and does yoga and is a kind teacher and is such a good actor and is just trying to help you and just wants to know why you're so upset and thinks we should wait to know more details and tells you the bomber was a nice, young man who was troubled and it's the smiling face of a white boy on a Statesman story about a murderer and it could never happen here and he was home schooled and just look at his mom's post from his graduation and it tells you maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions and speaks shitty Spanish at you in hopes to make you feel more comfortable and has an all white cast and fucks you at night but thinks you shouldn't be so angry all the time and needs you to understand the bomber was from a godly family and he was just so frustrated and dissatisfied with his life and ignores you in line at the pizza place and will tell you love is love is love in the same profile it asks for "No Asians, No Blacks" and it's not racist, just a preference and loves this cool coffee place where you get to hang with cats and once made that joke about hoodies and skittles but you didn't seem to find it funny and runs an independent bookstore and if you want racism to end, why do you always bring it up and is one of your students in that one class who is always making those comments and thinks you're being very divisive and if he didn't want to die then he shouldn't be resisting arrest and its parents came to this country legally so it doesn't see what the big deal is and it calls itself socially liberal but fiscally conservative and his improv show was so good and needs you to use punctuation because it can't possibly understand you otherwise and tells you to stop crying wolf and it asks you to stop making yourself uncomfortable, you're looking for reasons to be angry and loves playing Kendrick Lamar in the car and singing along to every word, every word and it calls the cops on the neighbors because they're so loud all the time and that's just how he is with all women, don't take it personally and the department is absolutely not discriminatory and can't be racist because they're Mexican and just wishes these people would stop blocking the street and gay pride is just not the right time to protest about Black Lives Matter and would love to have a conversation with you in private and just thinks we should be fighting the real enemy and if you would just give it a moment to explain itself and is so sorry that things got out of hand, it was just such a stressful day and it just loves all the new business coming into the city and it thinks that H&M thing was just way blown out of proportion and it wants to audition for RuPaul's Drag Race and you are so surprisingly eloquent and i don't mean to sound racist and how can we have dialogue if you're just going to be so angry and her husband is Puerto Rican and his best friend in college was Black and would just like you to read the book before you get so angry and it can't understand why people get so upset and just wants to clarify that it's not officially sponsoring the event, just making a little money off of it and says it has a constitutional right to free speech and it calls itself an ally when its being watched and it waits to get drunk to say racist shit and then tells you it's just a joke and no actors of color showed up so we just did the best we could and it calls you ugly at the bar and thinks you shouldn't speak Spanish because they can't understand what you are saying and asks you to overlook genocide and it has a DACA Facebook filter but doesn't want to go to "that part of town" and voted Democrat and feels if you got nothing to hide there's no need to be scared of cops and puts its fingers in your hair because y'all are cool like that and it is asking you to smile all the time and it shops at Whole Foods and it loves trap and if you don't like it here, then why don't you just leave and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and it is so exhausting and I am so exhausted and I just want to know when we get a break, I guess.

for a long time now my refrain has been "we only got us," and i am unwavering in my refrain and still, goddamn if this city doesn't make you feel so alone sometimes. my brain is tired and my body is sick and i just want some water to sit by."

Saw 1100 springs last night - good as always, anniversary dinner and mom in town this weekend.

friend of friend going through a breakup fell apart last weekend.
It starts when we went out for St. Paddy's day  - it was packed (and gradually louder) - we move to the house...and lord the poor girl...she broke down.
She'd been with the guy for 1.5 years...he decides to tell her he doesn't want to get married and doesn't want kids, she's shocked. She broke up with him because she desperately wants kids.

So...I mean I've only really been in one relationship for my adult life but... pretty sure a person in a relationship gives signs, you just sometimes choose to not see them or believe them.

In an effort to try to change the subject - i asked if she was going to her 20 year high school reunion. "No! I'm single and have no children!", she cried....*sigh*

Night after Night - Lauren Blakely - it's a teaser to try to buy more...i didn't/won't.

so we more 1100 springs

apparently I'm going to the Tech game tonight for March Madness - Jamie  (with his algorithms and spreadsheets) scoffed at my basketball picks - even though I picked the winners the last two years! Such a snob...

and i don't get the old timers mocking of kids walking out of class to protest gun violence yesterday?
I mean yeah pretty sure some just wanted to get out of school, but I think it is important to take these kids seriously. It's not the same world as before...nobody older than 38 ever had the thought in their head that there's a chance they'd get shot/killed while they were in school...put yourselves in their shoes.

Anyway - we crashed a Shakespeare pub crawl in Deep Ellum on Saturday -  Fun! I think they even got Jamie interested - I'm gonna check in on their plays.
Then we bar hopped. started talking to a guy at a bar that graduated from my same high school two years behind me. Didn't know him but it never fails, if a person tells you they're from El Paso....you can pretty much bet they're gonna be pretty cool.

Marriage of Inconvenience - good as always...it just felt kinda one-sided. 
and i'm on a re-read kick Remembrance and Psy-changeling...

so...fun times...we were non-stop last weekend.
Turnpike Troubadours with Son Volt Friday...again, "once we just get the energy to drag ourselves to get there, we never regret it". They need to figure out rates though, I only was persuaded cause I found a groupon.

Saturday -  got pulled into L&W texas independence day with the friends round 3p - the W's got in a mega fight after she had a little too much to drink. They've been training for a marathon/torture fest though...both have minimal body fat...the alcohol shot straight through..oy.
We've all been there.
Well the too much to drink/too little food part, I've never had a problem with the body fat part.
Needless to say - we left early.

Sunday we headed down to Bishop Arts - cause why not....and yes Sunday morning is the best time I've had there...otherwise it's complete chaos. Then lunch with Jamie's old co-worker.

Besides that - again distracted.
primary day - don't think I've social media'd like I social media'd. Doubly resolved.
I've written to the national and state D party to get their act together. And never lower to the nastiness and wasteful spending I had to witness among the R's in my district. It was so gross. 

Going to the dem gals member meeting tonight -way the f up in McKinney...ugh.
But I'm off tomorrow - might check out a Shakespeare pub crawl saturday, otherwise blessedly no plans. Declined a daytrip adventure with the M's....

Books:
Badd Ass - ex seal meets "just for right now" girl - Jasinda Wilder - yes ok. I just miss connection as always with her story.
#2 Maya Rodale Wallflower gone wild book - no nonsense gossiped meets almost shelved who kind of rebels - liked the #1 better.
#3 Maya Rodale Wallflower - both with secrets...liked the evolution of character but nothing lasting.

and Son Volt!
When the hours don't move along
Worn-out wood and familiar songs
To hear your voice is not enough
It's more than a shame
Can you deny
There's nothing greater
Nothing more
Than the traveling hands of time
St. Genevieve can hold back the water
Saints don't bother 
With the-tear stained eye
Like a man said
Rode hard and put away wet
Throw away the bad news
Put it to rest