the 20 second DPD experience

i'm in a hermit phase - maybe cause the heat, maybe cause the news
but I just don't feel like doing anything really.

We did though -  impromptu date night Saturday -
4:30pm - uber'd down to lowest greenville ave and hopped around.
9pm - home (and maybe slightly tipsy ;0))
11pm - passed out.
Good way to go if ya ask me!

Upon further introspection though - i'm gonna write my 20 second DPD experience of that night.

Our uber driver was a nice gal named Billy -

• from Greenville, TX 
• been in Dallas a while, 
• was in the military with one of the cops that was killed and 
• about to start working at Bank of America again. 

The traffic's weirdly bad - we're almost to the restaurants and a Dallas Police car pulls up next to us.

Jamie and I are sitting in the back seat - I wave to him (a kinda happy/grateful wave like this) - That I naturally wouldn't ever do but felt compelled to do anyway, in light of recent events

I get his attention, he gives a strange look... kinda like this (much less exaggerated but still... startled expression)

He then half smiles, lifts his fingers and nods in acknowledgement.
The light turns, and we go on our ways.

THE END.

And so it didn't really occur to me to really think about it at the time. But it's been a couple days and I think it merits mentioning.

I don't think Billy noticed (or acknowledged) he had pulled up next to us.

Initial impression of him from my backseat vantage point was he was very narrow-eyed/alert/scrutinizing looking into the car.

Was that a normal scrutiny? (I don't usually look over when cop pulls up next to me) . I do know that if I made eye contact with someone who looked at me that way I would most certainly feel intimidated.

or.... he was of asian descent, she was black - was  he looking, in that  manner, into the car because she was black?
I don't know...this was all within a matter of seconds (and I was already on to waving at him.)

Also, what I didn't register is (at the time) the DPD headquarters - 10 minutes down the way - was on lockdown from "an extreme threat".
...so maybe his body language was partially because of that (and everything else they were going through since Thursday last week.)
Cause there's no way in hell I wouldn't be freaked the "f" out either right?!

who knows - just something to speculate over...

Then the part to where I got his attention -
I startled him.
And then he was baffled by my enthusiasm for seeing him.

It's kind of sad as I think about it....there's no question that they've gotten used to being vilified.

Another thought tangent is -  the Dallas homicide rate has increased exponentially (40%?)  from last year. I saw the news story of nobody on-hand to work cold or rape cases because they've been pulled to work other departments.

What is happening out there? Honestly...and I know it's not a good thing to say but more and more I'm glad Jamie and I haven't brought children into this world where (as I read in an article somewhere) "does it always have to be that hatred always forces us to love?"

Moving on - cause whew that was a "deep thoughts" that went longer than I thought it would!

I re-read LOTU - Sabin *sigh* and Klepas' St. Vincent *more sigh* - i guess i'm just in a historical/paranormal switch off mood lately. And I don't feel like trying something new that will disappoint - OH WAIT I did. It was
McAlistair's Fortune by Alissa Johnson - ok I guess? I finished - just not enough to get me to keep reading more of hers?

Also watched the Outlander finale - Jamie even stayed up to watch it with me even though he wasn't all that sure about what was going on.
so...she'll be 20 years older going back? interesting....I'm still so bummed to've not seen Culloden in person. It was on my itinerary...we' would've already been there and back... ugh.

this is how you see the world. This is how you grow.

we were at the Rangers game - besides wondering why I30 traffic was so bad ,didn't really know about what happened downtown until we got home and turned the news on.

I'm just overall weary and disheartened and...i don't know what else.
I guess if I'm honest, I"m irritated by the hashtags and memes (that have been used before and then fade away til next time)

...to be really honest, right now, I'm mostly irritated by the flood of people on my fb saying that they're praying.

All good and well -  but why not do something helpful in addition to just praying about it?

I think at this point even money or volunteering is just a temporary salve - not a solution

All I keep coming back to what makes the most sense is this:

Instead, it seems like people are going more into their corners...to rage, or deny or pontificate or spiral into depression

or in my case - I really just want to find a book to read, so I can get away from this horrible-ness for a while - Really i don't know how other people are dealing...my guess is they're not...it just builds and builds....
I hope not though.
I hope.
...which I guess isn't all that different from praying is it....

Minneapolis trip recap (and why he doesn't want you *you're welcome*)

Minneapolis day trip!
I'd almost forgotten how nice people can be.
Seriously... I guess I've gotten so used to Dallas people (and ALL the new non-Dallas people who've moved here) so pissy, and/or hoity/selfish/obnoxious that I'm now surprised to find genuinely nice, non-stressed out people.
And they're talkers - whew are they talkers!! Needless to say Jamie fit right in.

short on time to make the ballgame, we uber'd - it's half the cost of a taxi!

our ballpark #15 (halfway through!) - Target field is a good one -  beautiful, clear, 72 degree day we lost our asses 17-5 against the worst team in baseball! ugh
and I got sunburned - Jamie didn't get sunburned. I (of my Mexican-ness) got sunburned...ugh...smh heh.
we also got on TV!  oh and their version of poutine at the Red Cow in the ballpark was pretty yum.

Cocktails before dinner - Jamie found a hidden "speak-easy" (walk down an alleyway to get there) kinda place called Volsteads's Emporium, that made wonderful drinks

Dinner was at Upton 43 - Nordic inspired (which I had no idea what that meant) - the seeds and beets and stuff I couldn't pronounce and no "strong" alcohol, threw me off but I actually ended up liking this place. The pork chop especially was so good.

Dessert - Tilia's - walking distance from dinner (and recommended by Ann, our bartender at Volsteads) - the Pot de Creme - a winner!

Avoid "Prohibition" high up in the hotel downtown - forget which one - drinks were expensive and terrible and really the view isn't all that great. Minneapolis is so flat.

and then we passed out cause we were exhausted - allergies got to us a little here - so weird!

Breakfast - Haute Dish - omg I loved this place. We WAY overindulged for brunch here and everything was delicious.  And i'm not even a breakfast-y kind of person. If it was that good I'm sure they're lunch/dinner stuff is amazing.

Overall loved (what little I was able to see) of Minneapolis - good food, good drinks, wonderful people -  I'd even like to see during their winter. Maybe even for a Stars/Wild game? - i bet that'd be fun!...they're still sore about losing their North Stars

Books!
Finished Cold-Hearted Rake and Marrying Winterbourne - both good!  I like how she doesn't make her girls needy, especially in that era when it was almost impossible not to be.
Threw in (polar opposite) Showalter's Strider story to mix it up, it'd been a while - I liked it better than I remember! I just love her harpy gals.

Maybe not so "polar opposite" though - there's a common thread to these genre's - I swear if more people read these books that show varying degrees of female strength (and how it plays into relationships) more girls wouldn't be so freaking insecure and needy. Especially in amorous relationships.

I'm seeing way too many "why doesn't he want me?", "I don't need a man!", "all i need is someone to stay. no matter how hard it is.", "what's wrong with me?"  kind of things on on my fb feed and everywhere else it seems.

It's driving me crazy!!
and since i can't tell them, I'm venting here. 

Stop being so freaking needy!!! NOBODY likes that shit. I think especially men that don't want to be tied to your annoying-ness for the rest of their lives....