and I'm getting negative body language when people ask about it...
It's almost like they think I'm unfeeling?
I'm not unfeeling, and I've put thought into this...
it just comes down to this - I imagine he (the deceased) is looking down at all the people that came for his funeral,
(Narrow down to the row I'm in.)
He thinks, "ah yes here's Michael I remember when..."
then "oh wow Ellen showed up...ugh she pissed me off that one time...".
I'm next and he pauses and thinks "who's that?"
....remember those two times I shook your hand in introduction? Yes, that is the extent of our association.
Next factor is - it's not so much about him, it's about his wife (my co-worker).
I'm more inclined to go in support of her...
but honestly - from my own past experiences, and what I know about her - she's in a whirlwind of people around her, adding myself as another person she has to take time to acknowledge seems more of a burden than anything.
if I'm really being honest - my inclination to go (is yes partly to show support for her) but also, it's partly to see how the Jewish faith differs in their funerals...
of anything, that feels the most wrong - to use my curiosity as a reason to attend a funeral.
I think I might see death and dying differently from a lot of people? What's really odd is how most people don't feel comfortable even talking about it. ... a fact of life.
I don't pity people who are dying. I pity them if it seemed like they don't live while alive.
In this case, it seems like he didn't at all have that problem.
oy - I'm using a lot of "I's" and "me's" and so I acknowledge that there's a possibility that I might be wrong, Jamie already gave me the "it's the right thing to do" lecture but, for the above reasoning, it doesn't feel wrong to not go and I'm ok with it.
Laying low this weekend - maybe people over sunday...
Finished MacLean's Scot in the Dark - gotta say...didn't hate it, but it's one of my least favorite of hers. Overdone on self-worth inner dialogue imo, it took away from the story.
