maybe not going Rogue...booo

got a Rogue costume  - gloves and red hair w/ white strip and everything - but I'm just kinda eh....
my favorite holiday and i'm not feelin' the halloween spirit.

Thinking I might hold off on wearing rogue til next year.
I'm so boring.
..i hate boring.

maybe it's just the weather.
Friends invited us to dinner and my book sounds more interesting to me right now.
Bout halfway through reading The Shadows - oy there's like 8 story lines - and the mains of this one are def not my favorite of hers.

It's not getting on my nerves just yet,  but seriously though,
 if ever there was an author to keep me just barely on the good side of the cusp to boredom it's J.R. Ward. She stretches a story like I've never seen before.

And so if it's not still raining we might head to the horse track to bet on the breeders cup tomorrow. Then maybe a birthday halloween party and maybe i'll be in a better mood..but as i said...eh. yawn. i suck.

"dressing up" and going dark

pretty sad that i'm wearing a dress and boots today and everyone is wondering why i'm "dressed up".
we're re-financing the house "rate is ideal" and "financially smart and retirement savings" or somesuch whatever Jamie said. blahblahblah 
(The glory of being married to a degree in finance...)


i decided to make an effort for signing a stack of papers. You're welcome world!

again... adult-ing ugh

Grimm's End read stilted to me.
I think I'm going to have to go back and re-read this one....really maybe I should go back and re-read the series AND the "other" story (tale?) addressed in this book..... Not wholly disappointed, I'm just floundering a little here. The whole forgivness of self thing..hmmm.

I've got jrward's the Shadow's up next...yet another dark one I'm sure. 

don't break yourself on a heart of stone

here I go being judge-y (again) 
my cousin got engaged and theirs is not coming off as a great pairing. 

I honestly hope I'm wrong - i've no idea what they're like behind closed doors -  but yeah
... any good marriage I've seen has friendship as a big part of its base.
I'm not seeing it here.

Shit I barely saw much of anything - no secret looks, no joking, not even anybody pissed off.
Lord knows everyone can tell when I'm pissed at Jamie - I'm not good at hiding it anymore.

big bear of lovin' for his family and all I saw was tolerance for his "almost" spouse - it makes me kinda sad...

even more sad that I think a little of that closed-offness on his side has to do with him growing up with his dad's misogyny - then add being a veteran on top of being a police officer and it's pretty much a given that there'll be a lot of hurdles to overcome in establishing a meaningful relationship.

I honestly think any spouse that can handle being married to a veteran (especially one that fought in a war) and/or married to someone in law enforcement deserves a huge level of respect.
I couldn't do it...I just couldn't do it...can't make a bridge with two walls of ice.

Again...I'd love them to prove me wrong....he truly deserves to be happy.

just saw that the last of Shiloh Walker's Grimm series came out today. I almost don't want to read it. I've really liked this series and I know she's probably gonna kill (or inflict a lot of pain) on a character that I'm invested in. She writes like Larissa Ione in that way.

It's a Chris Knight kinda day
got the broken promises
got the broken home
dont break yourself on a
heart of stone

Arkansas no-go. Bookfest go go!

the hurricane made fun times in Arkansas impossible.
Flight got cancelled and we're for sure as heckfire not driving through all that madness.

Rain and thunder. rain and thunder.

so we sat around all day yesterday and it's looking like the same today.
(besides losing a ridiculous amount of money on a pre-paid  non-refundable hotel room for two nights) I'm not complaining ...i got a reading fest going!

I've read Kylie Scott (rock band LV married. i finished it but eh)
and Laura Drewry (friends to married. it got a little too overdrawn but I liked it for the most part).

...Jamie's probably about to hit his limit and start driving me bonkers I'm sure.

book blame, pig (sooie) game & the UK

Bet me - loved this one. funny with whimsy. Stayed up till after midnight to read it. And honestly? I liked that it skewed from most every other romance ever and acknowledged the no babies.

Not that I don't like babies...they're cute...but in real life like mine...some married couples choose not to have babies...

but anyway, I'm sleepy...this is pretty much me today (...or right now eating my tamale.)

it was worth it.

We're heading to Arkansas this weekend, Jamie's very excited to show me where his dad/grandparents are from.

Meeting up with our "kidnapped" - tailgating, going to the football game  (vs Auburn?)...SEC...heard it's pretty crazy.

80% chance of rain and chilly though. oy.
Guess we better get used to it now - cause it sounds like Scotland weather for us this coming May!

I've expanded into Cornwall too (which oddly I'm just as excited about)...didn't hardly know it existed a year ago, very few books I've read had Cornwall as their scene but it just seems like a cool (less traveled) place so yep, added to the rotation cause why not.

...the way my planning is coming we're gonna train all over the UK...can't wait!!

adult-ing is exhausting

I don't understand - why the heckfire is outdoor furniture so freaking expensive!?

I'm too old to be ok with cheap things anymore but still cheapskate enough to attempt hunting craigslist (in vain cause I'm no where near the scavenger people are around here. ugh.) 

It's stuff like this that make adult-ing so exhausting....

Annnnnd I'm seeing all these mega houses all over now and wonder how these people afford them? I mean I know it's none of my business but how much in debt are they?
And like...do they have time for fun? Do they even see each other? Don't they get lost in there?

I'm in a mood - re-reading Christina Lauren. about to start 'Bet me' by Jennifer Crusie.

So Macon Greyson it is...

So shut up, play guitar and write a song
And tell me how to feel
Play your worthless country song if you tell me how to feel
Folk singers got that s**t all wrong
Won’t you tell me how to feel
How will I know what to think if you don’t tell me how to feel

You claim to know the right from wrong
I’ll listen to your baseless verse
Maybe I will give you my endorsement
I may be giving you my curse
Well I’m gonna start my day 
You can lay in bed because I don’t care
History may repeat itself
But you don’t know because you weren’t there
You’re doomed to make the same mistakes
When politicians and lovers are all the same

You’re doomed to make the same mistakes
When politicians and lovers are all the same

music appreciation (and gambled out)

and so this year's been a music year apparently - NOLA brass bands, country bands,  Memphis blues, Hawaiian, Cajun, German/Bavarian (for Wurstfest) in a couple weeks....

the bluegrass festival this weekend was a good time - a bit more of a restrained crowd than I'm used to but there's just something about a standup bass, a fiddle and a banjo. There just is.

especially loved how people brought their instruments and joined together randomly to play as they wanted. It's also lovely to see people hold on to their culture in music (or if not born into it, appreciate the music so much they join it). 

we also made it to a casino night. Put my money on black at the roulette wheel
(annnnd my typical luck in gambling this year...) the wheel didn't even bother with red for me, nope, went right to thumb your nose green - not sure if there's a clearer sign than that...

I read Vegas is looking at changing itself to arcade gaming anyway "for the turning generation"
...guess mine's the last of the old school, cause that doesn't sound all that appealing to me.

Mine's the first of the new school too though cause hours and hours of my youth was spent on  MarioBros./Zelda/Tetris/Galaga etc -   its actually strange how I just completely lost interest?

Read the first of Stephanie Lauren's Cynster books - finished it but it was wordy. I skipped.
Also finished the last of the Pennyroyal Green - not bad, like how they owned up to being young and stupid.

stiletto series and bluegrass

It's Friday! yes.
Reading Lauren Layne's Stiletto books out of order (oh well) two so far.
Emma Chase-ish.  Quick easy reads. Not bad! I'll continue.

Lotsa outdoor stuff going on this weekend.
 Bluegrass festival, chili cook-off,  casino night, balloon festival, horse races.
and allergies...ugh.

My favorite blue (new?) grass band - the South Austin Jug Band.
Come back! Come back - y'all were so much fun.....

Well I know my love may seem strange
There’s some things in this world they say don’t change
When it rains, baby, if it storms
You’ve got me, girl, and I’ll keep you warm

irritable spouse

knew it...they blew it. Stupid Rangers.
and half done with the last Immortal rules  -  so predictable...this really should've just been one book.

...I'm kinda glad I have this book diary thing. Now I get why people journal.
It's cathartic. I can't vent to Jamie, he's already in his roller coaster mood swing with the cowboys being so bad and now the rangers losing so badly.

I mean I'm pissed, that's my team,  but really...at the end of the day it's a game.
He lets it effect everything beyond what's reasonable...it's exhausting.

On top of that he's bothered with me cause today's the golf tournament for the charity he's on and I guess he didn't really believe me when I told him I was done volunteering for it.

I think I did pretty good dealing with all that for 6? years out of a sense of wifely support? And really I never volunteered to begin with....he volunteered me without even asking me! F'n jerk. Getting me all riled up all over again.  

But...married life lesson #102 - (no matter how much I want to) I can't keep harping on something that happened a long time ago. He knows why I'm pissed. Let it go Brenda or it causes more problems...UGH! For me..this is one of the hardest things to stop doing.

*update* I just read it's National Grouch Day! HA!!! Yay I win!!

family drama & (im)mortal rules

So Houston - we met up with some family members at a bar up in Conroe and we got so loud talking over each other people were giving us dirty looks.

Good thing there were only 8 of us there - we might've been run out otherwise.
The bouncer did say though that he was "throughly entertained" as we walked out. ha.

Heard one of my cousins is getting divorced after just a year of marriage.
I can't say I didn't see that coming - computer nerd meets a pretty gal and got her the boobs and the Louboutin's and building a huge house outside of Houston somewhere that she wanted. And so when he starts to put the money brakes on she's not having it and the "spark is gone".

Then my cousin and his wife got on their high horse about how Jamie and I need to have children and we'll "never know how amazing it is if you don't" blah blah blah.

It was fine for the first 10 minutes (we're immune from most every other parent we know that says the same thing) but after a while it got annoying.

And so typically I'd be like "ok thank you. now be quiet"
but they lost their own baby a couple years ago from a terrible mitochondrial disorder. And so we gave them a little more leeway until Jamie hit his limit at about the 20 minute mark and I was like "ok it's time to go. nice to see ya. bye".

Again,  honestly....
I think we should be thanked for choosing to not have a child we don't really want to begin with. 

Moving on....The Blood of Eden YA series is good enough to get me to the beginning of the 3rd book so far. But (yet again), the second book in the series was mostly filler with a few relevant points - ugh. I feel so cheated when they do that.

Also re-read Cade/Holly's story - so good. I think she's my favorite written nerdy type girl.

Diggin' the new Jason Boland/Stragglers - Guess it's alright to be an asshole if you're good.

annnndddd - Classic Rangers...making it hard for yourselves. we'll see if we can move on after tomorrow's game. *I tell Jobu come, take fear from bats*....#nevereverquit

a Muse, Bird Hunters, a chance and Catfish.

quit the Bourbon Kings. I'm on to Cora Carmack's 1st Muse Book - it's a little "woe is me" but I like it so far - much MUCH better character chemistry.

Another good story -  The Bird Hunters.
It didn't catch my attention at first, but then I listened the story in it...and now it's on replay.
That dark haired gal did a number on him, it's all over his music.

Rangers playoffs, a chance at the Fall Classic (i'm worried. oy)

and also headed down Houston way this weekend for visiting and a catfish festival. 

The Bird Hunters - Turnpike Troubadours
The covey took wing Shotguns a singing 
A pointing dog down in the old logging road 

Danny got three And looked back a grinning
I fumbled around and I tried to reload

The country was cold With the sun westward sinking
It's good to be back in this place

With my hands around A Belgian made Browning
My mind on the lines of her face

Well now Danny's my buddy We grew up like family
Hunted this timber before we could drive
The old English pointer He once belonged to me But I gave him up when I moved in '05

Off to the girl Off to the cityOff on a wing and a chance
Hell I thought it'd play out Just like some story
We fell in love at a rodeo dance

She said go on back to Cherokee County
Won't you crawl back with nothing but a razor and a comb
Babe, if you need me, I'll be where you found me
Go on to hell, honey, I'm headed home

Dan says, "Look at old Jim A dozen Decembers Behind him no worse for the wear
And your time spent in Tulsa Did not help your shooting
And look at the gray in your hair

How good does it feel? You belong in these hills 
It's best that you let it all end
If you'd have married that girl You'd have married her family
You dodged a bullet my friend"

She said go on back to Cherokee County
Won't you crawl back with nothing but a razor and a comb
Babe, if you need me, I'll be where you found me
Go on to hell, honey, I'm headed home

I was beginning To deal with it ending
The old dog had pointed while part of me died

And a flutter of feathers Then a shotgun to shoulder
I thought of the Fourth of July
She'll be home on the Fourth of July
I bet we'll dance on the Fourth of July

Dan says, "Hell of a shot Looks like you've still got it That's what we came here to do
It's light enough still At the foot of the hill We could kick up a single or two

She said go on back to Cherokee County
Won't you crawl back with nothing but a razor and a comb
Babe, if you need me, I'll be where you found me
Go on to hell, honey, I'm headed home
Go on to hell, honey, I'm headed home

shout! at the (decorators, devil and the dull)

if 34's your median age, you're missing your market Pier 1.
I came in looking for halloween stuff and you're already on to Christmas...ugh

There are very few people I know that make time (or have interest) to even decorate -
and so if they do, they're like me and want to decorate for the month of the event - they're not buying for Christmas right now. I protest!  Your loss though...

Jamie and I thought about going to see Motley Crue tomorrow night...oy on a Wednesday though...not sure I can hang. And we've been spending way too much on fun times lately, I'm thinking we're gonna pass.

Reading JR Ward's Bourbon Kings right now - I think it had potential but it's so soap opera and I'm not all that invested. I'll see how long I can hang on.
I'm gettin' a little pissy at how disappointing my books are lately.

a dreadful selfish crime

Lots going on in the real world. 

Here's what I know - I'm American, Latina, a woman, educated (in some ways more than others), a wife and a friend.

I'd think I'm 99% likely to relate to anyone on at least one of the above. 

BUT

If you're not American, I don't expect you to know what being American feels like

If you're not Latina (specificially of Mexican heritage), I don't expect you to know what being Latina/ of Mexican heritage means/feels like

and flip side I make an effort to not presume to know every person's life experiences

So, (case in point) every time I hear/see a man give his opinion on what women should do with their own bodies, I'm going to disregard most of what he says on the basis that he has no idea what he's talking about. 

He may have been given permission to touch a woman, he may have loved or hated one, but if you're not a woman (meaning: you don't know what it feels like to be one and experience life as one) and you are asked for your opinion on women's bodies/issues -  I say find your bestest/closest/coolest gal (if you've even taken the time to even know and care for one), ask what she thinks and then just back her up on her opinion. 

That is all...

Finished reading Season of Storms - not bad, it just kinda faded...ho hummm

It's a Bobby Keen kinda day...

Seems like yesterday I was here

Dreamin' my life away and drinkin' beer

season of (half-assed fans) storms

I take exception
the whole fishface selfie girls at the Arizona D'backs game? ... At least they're at the freakin' game.

 We were at Pluckers last night and "what is this?" - audio is on the Steelers game. Our TEXAS RANGERS have a run for the WORLD SERIES and in Plano TEXAS we have audio on the Pittsburgh/Baltimore football game.

So gimme those selfie girls any day over half-assed Rangers fans...at least they're loyal to their home team. ‪#‎dbacks‬ ‪#‎texasrangers‬ ‪#‎nevereverquit‬‪ #pluckers #wfaa

Moving on....
out and about this weekend, It's gorgeous outside!
The Cedars, Arlington, The State Fair.

Reading Season of Storms - I forget how well she describes the feel of a place. And how well she meshes dual story lines in her books.

It was after reading her book (i forget which now) that got me locked into planning Scotland next year. Not sure I want to make it out Aberdeen way though...we'll see.

That's the thing about traveling...we have so many people marvel at how much we travel (which is laughable compared to every Australian we've ever encountered) but really half the battle is deciding on where and when, then it's just a matter of planning and having enough time to space out costs.

and now, reading this SKearsley book ...of course I want to visit Venice.
The crowds though...oy I've heard it's crazy crowded.

my inner chola

saw the story about the no-shows being billed for not attending a wedding.

No, I wouldn't bill a no-show, that's pretty ghetto BUT!  I can kinda understand the logic.

ooo my inner chola wanted to come out for those few that decided not to show to my wedding.
Even more  for those that didn't bother to rsvp at all and then showed up!

I think all of those were my family members?
I guess they didn't realize that if they said yes we'd have to pay for them whether they showed or not? Or if they just came, it added costs that we weren't expecting.

Don't think they didn't hear about it down the Mexican mother/sister/aunt/cousin channel line though. Maybe it's a just cultural thing but it's a real thing! (and honestly more effective in some circumstances.)

Only Jamie really sees my chola come out every once in a while anymore. He sometimes unintentionally brings her out. Unintentially because he's a bit wary of her.
But see, B's married life lesson #13 - apparently it's innate for men to push to see how far they can go with their chosen. If he's pissed me off, my chola allows me address it immediately (rather than do the silent treatment thing that only makes him have no idea why I'm still mad the next day)
He may not like her very much - he's told me so -  but I think she's very important in maintaining balance in this relationship.

And so Rock Courtship was ok. I did like the leads - I just really like her psy/changlings better. I re-read Kiss of Snow the other day - so good.

Jamie helped me finish my sugar skull arts/crafts project. I have her out front now - I've named her Lupita Rosa Salvaje. It was fun.

I'm in a punk-ish sort of mood. Saw these guys up in Denton a long time ago. Raising this one up loud.